A lull

This June and July have been rough for me. I haven't been focused. I have not kept to the calorie targets. I've been gaining the losing the same 2 pounds for the last 8 weeks. There was no visible difference in my June pics to my July pics. Last week, I was sad. I was in a funk. It was mostly hormonal but still felt very very real. This week I need to break this stalemate and get back into the groove. I feel better when I eat less calories and more high quality foods. I have to remember that in the moments when I want to find comfort in a bag of candy, an extra cocktail or a another handful of salami. 

I can do this. I already dropped 30 lbs. I can do this. I am worth this. I am getting skinnier and stronger every day. I have worked out 194 days in a row and I will make it to New Year's Eve on that streak. I have a great support and accountability system. And it's okay to take a break from tracking every calorie. I am in this for long haul. I need to make this happen. 

The Family Photo weigh in

This morning was the weigh in for the family photo session this weekend. My sister challenged me to lose 30 pounds by this upcoming Sunday. I have lost 23.6 lbs and I am very happy about it. I am starting to fit into some of my old clothes which is very exciting. My husband, my friend Jenny and these weekly weigh ins have been a great source of motivation and support. I am starting to notice my palette changing. I definitely want less carbs and sweets than I used to. I feel strong and motivated. My mantra of Just Worry about Today is definitely working.

1st Quarter 2013

So it has been three months since I committed to work out every day and log my calories every day. I am close to losing 20 pounds so far. I have had moments of pure joy fitting into pants a size smaller.  The key has been figuring out my Basal Metabolic Rate so I am eating the proper amount of calories. My Fitness Pal recommended I eat 1698 calories to lose 2 pounds a week, my BMR currently is 2000 calories. The theory is that I have to end up with 2,000 calories at the end of the day so I eat back my exercise calories. I still go over. Turns out my default is about 3,000 calories, but by taking off the pressure of eating perfectly - I am doing much better. 


Yesterday I was looking at pictures from 2005. I was 20 pounds over my goal weight and about 60 pounds less than I am now. I can't believe I thought I was fat then. I was HOT! I am really looking forward at getting back to that weight.  A big motivation is being the weight I was when I met my husband by our 5th anniversary  May 2014. That will be a 85 pound weight loss over 17 months or about 1.25 pounds per week. 

I still feel strong and that I can do this. Working out is a natural part of my life now. Cutting out sugar is pretty easy to do when I am thoughtful about it. It's still one day at a time. Every day. One day at a time. 

Why I think it will work this time

Here I go again!

Why I think it will work:
1. I have two accountability buddies - one for weight loss and one for exercising every day. I log in my weight once a week and if I "outlose" my partner by May - I get $20. I also have a friend on Facebook that we are both going for 365 days of exercise in 2013. We call it #365for365 and it is a great motivation. I don't want to let her down. I am already 7 for 7.

2. I am only focusing on three things: 1. Exercise every day. 2. Log my food every day. 3. Wear my fitbit every day. I can do this. This is easy.

3. I naturally realized that carbs are not big of a part of my life. I don't eat a lot of bread, cereal or pasta. I don't generally eat dessert so just avoiding the office candy jar is all I have to do to be sugar free and gluten free.

4. I have an incredibly supportive husband who gets me up for the gym every morning.

5. I am starting while we have our share with the farm so a ton of  veggies end up at our house every other week and need to be consumed.

6. I visualize my inner skinny girl. I do a daily affirmation that I am getting skinnier every day. I view each exercise as digging out a shovel of dirt to get closer to that girl.

I'm ready.

Off the rails

Calories: 3501
Exercise: 60 minutes slow walking
Drinks: 4

Off the rails. I used the excuse I wasn't feeling well to go straight off the rails!

Do something you never did

7/19/12
Calories: 2,708
Exercise: 60 minutes slow walking
Drinks: Too many

I was listening to the radio - Oprah radio. One the guests said, "If you want something you've never heard, you have to do something you never did." I promptly ignored that advice and went home and stuffed my face with salami, pasta, cheese and alcohol.

It's not a mystery why I am still obese.

Focusing on the why

7.18.12
Calories: 2,372
Exercise: 30 minutes Mall Walking
Drinks: 3

I read an excerpt from Michael Pantalon's book Instant Influence. He claims you get can anyone to do anything in 7 minutes or less by tapping into their existing motivation. I thought about this yesterday as I walked through the mall. I am a long way from being full committed to losing 80 pounds. A long, long way. Under Pantalon's guidance, I asked myself  "Why am I even thinking about it at all? Why am I even out here exercising?" 

I want to fully enjoy my vacations with my husband. On the last 3 major vacations, I had to hold back and send my husband ahead or we both didn't do something because I didn't trust my body would be able to handle it or I wasn't feeling well. That sucks. It also sucks that I am above the weight limit for things I want to do.

I want to live a long time pain free. Right now, I am dealing with the implications of the excess weight - a few creaks in the morning, tiredness that is annoying, but I can still function day to day. If my weight continues to increase or stay the same, my body will start to give out. That would suck.

I want to look at pictures and not be ashamed of how large I have become.

I want to shop in the clearance section of the regular stores. Back when I was a 16 (I am a 22W/24W now), I could persue Macy's, JCPenney, Ann Taylor and come out with some really cute, low priced goods.

I want to wear high heels again. I wear down my shoes to badly because they just aren't built to accomodate that much weight.

I want to see my toes. When I was in elementary school, I remember walking around the track. The mean boys were taunting me about how fat I was and said, "I bet she can't see her toes." I couldn't then and I can't now.

I see Pantalon's point. Focusing on the "why are you even trying" really helps put things in perspective. There have been changes I have made and stuck to:
1. Drinking a green smoothie for breakfast instead of eating carbs.
2. Switching to almond milk in my coffee instead of dairy.

The third change I am going to work on is walking every day. I agree with Gretchen Rubin from the The Happiness Project. She says if she wants to change a behavior - she has to commit to doing it every day. Otherwise, the off days will take over. I agree. So walking every day it is. I have walked Tuesday and Wednesday this week and have a buddy lined up for today and tomorow. Saturday should be easy - first thing. Sunday, I am walking in a parade so here's to this week!

See you tomorrow!